WELCOME – If you are new here or you have been here and didn’t get the memo THIS IS REQUIRED READING. 🙂
I have found that society in general, does some very curious things. One of which is how it has used the acronym R.I.P. meaning “Rest In Peace” for those who have passed on from this life.
If you think about it, the Bible says that “The dead know not anything, neither do they have anything to do with anything under the sun. Their thoughts have perished.” So basically they have no choice but to Rest in Peace. No alarm clock or anything that they spent their life fighting for being disregarded by younger generations would make them “turn over in their grave.”
It reminds me of how one day we were driving along in our SwaggerWagon and we went over a speed bump. My then 8 year old said, Daddy why do we call that a speed bump if you can’t speed over it. We should call it a slow bump. LOL! And for the next 20 minutes no matter how many different ways we tried to explain it to him, he just kept responding “but that just makes no sense.”
After reading part of Shantee Moore’s book “For Women Only,” something that stuck out in my mind was her finding that “Men would rather be respected than loved.”
R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me – wait – I digress.
Then I was lead to the thought that God never actually commands a wife to LOVE her husband unconditionally. He commands unconditional love from the man but He does not place that obligation on the woman
He requires unconditional RESPECT from a wife.
Don’t believe me? Read the text.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Now I know what you are thinking. In another place it says husband and wife should submit to one another, it’s actually verse 21. However, verse 21 is not talking about the marriage relationship (that’s another discussion) In still another place it says something about loving one another. I know, but Ephesians 5:22 is often quoted by husbands for wifely submission.
So before you go there. This is NOT just another “Submit or Die“ commentary.
The purpose of this exploration is for the second admonition of “reverence”
The word used for submission in verse 33 is basically defined as “obeying.”
NO, it is not talking about blind obedience but that is another discussion also. The definition of the word reverence is altogether different. By analogy, it means “to be in awe of.” It is the same exact word that is used in Revelation 14:6 when the world is commanded to “Fear (Reverence) God and give glory to Him”
NO, I am not saying wives should look at their husbands as a god. Sorry fellas, that would be breaking the second commandment. But what Paul is saying in Ephesians, is that a Husband is God’s representative in the family setting and all who dwell in that setting should reverence God’s representative as if it was God Himself.
Notice you do not see anywhere in those verses that said anything to the effect… Submit and Reverence IF he makes you feel loved first, or IF he’s nice, or IF he takes out the trash, or IF he speaks your love language, or IF he spends time with the kids, or IF he does what you want, or IF he represents God right, etc. etc,
It simply says Wives, Submit and Reverence as if you are doing it to God.
NO CONDITIONS or PREREQUISITES
Submit + Reverence = Unconditional Respect.
HEY!!! I think I will use that as a hashtag SRUR
So I know by now most you ladies have stones in your hands ready to through them thru the screen at me but if you have managed to read this far, don’t miss the blessing.
Some of you are probably saying, “What about the husband loving the wife part.” When I was going back and forth with the Holy Spirit about doing this, He said very plainly to me… “There are a plethora of sites out there about that subject. I want you to laser focus on the concept of “Unconditional Respect” because my daughters need to know. ”
People perish for a lack of knowledge.
i.e. Marriages perish for a lack of knowledge.
DISCLAIMER: SOME OF THE THINGS I SAY ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU MAD. If for no other reason because I am giving a man’s perspective, however, I am always hearing ladies saying something to the effect of how men need to communicate more.
Okay! I am attempting to communicate as a voice for my species.
So this may not appeal to every wife, woman or wife to be and that’s OK. But for those of you who do want to seriously know “how to respect your husband/man unconditionally,” I can promise you that while to many, this may seem like a one sided, unbalanced, whining, martyr trying to emotionally manipulate women into slaves and trophy wives, I am not just shooting the in dark here.
After 43 years of life, traveling the world, many failed relationships,relationship counsel training, being the shoulder for many a man to cry on, eavesdropping on girl talks, watching close friends go through divorce, being a sounding board to friends and family, and 19 years (officially) 21(unofficially) of marriage, the things that I am sharing are from years of putting in blood sweat and tears into to staying together, regardless of how much it hurts and one or the other wants to give up.
Some are personal experiences
Some have been shared with me
Some have been witnessed
Some are Divine revelations
Some are just practical rationales
No, I don’t have Permanent Head Damage ( Phd )
The Lord doesn’t need those man made constructs to speak to His people. If you require those kinds of qualifications then this journey is not for you.
But if your marriage is about to “Rest In Peace” or if you have just been cohabiting with someone you “used” to love and felt loved you or you are single and pretty much given up on finding Mr. Right, or you just want some insight into the male psyche or want to want to see, make, and be part of the solution to help men take their rightful place and allow God to breath new life into your situation…
Then pray, subscribe, invite a girlfriend and