About R.I.P.

rip3I have found that society in general does some very curious things.  One of which is how it has used the acronym R.I.P. meaning Rest In Peace for those who have passed on from this life.

If you think about it, the Bible says that “The dead know not anything, neither do they have anything to do with anything under the sun.  Their thoughts have perished.  So basically they have no choice but to Rest in Peace.

No alarm clock or thing that they spent their life fighting for being desecrated by younger generations would make them “turn over in their grave.”

It reminds me of how one day we driving along in our Swagger Wagon and we went over a speed bump.   My then 8 year old said, Daddy why do we call that a speed bump if when you can’t speed over it.  We should call it a slow bump.  LOL and for the next 15 minutes no matter how many different ways we tried to explain it to him, he just kept responding “but that makes no sense.”

After reading part of Shantee Moores book “For Women Only,”  something that stuck out in my mind was her finding that “Men would rather be respected than loved.”

R-E-S-P-E-C-T wait – I digress.

Then I was lead to the thought that God never actually commands a wife to love her husband unconditionally.  He commands unconditional love from a man but he requires unconditional respect from a wife.

Don’t believe me?  Read the text.

22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.


Now I know what you are thinking.  In another place it says husband and wife should submit to one another, its actually verse 21, but that verses is actually not talking about the marriage relationship (but that is another discussion).   In still another it says something about loving one another.   I know but Ephesians 5:22 is often quoted by husbands for wifely submission.

So before you go there.  This is not just another “Submit or Die “commentary.

The purpose of this exploration is for the second admonition of “reverence”

The word used for submission in 22 is basically defined as “obeying.”
NO it is not talking about blind obedience but that is another discussion.

But the definition of the word reverence is all together different.   By analogy it means “to be in awe of.”  It is the same exact word that is used in Revelation 14:6 when the world is commanded to “Fear (Reverence) God and give glory to Him”

NO I am not saying wives should look at their husbands as a god.  Sorry fellas, that would be  breaking the second commandment.  But what Paul is saying in Ephesians is that a Husband is God’s representative in the family setting and all who dwell in that setting should reverence God’s representative.

Notice you do not see anywhere in those verses that says anything to the effect.  Submit and Reverence IF he makes you feel loved first, or if he’s nice, or takes out the trash, or speaks my love language, or spends time with the kids, or does what I want, or if he represents God right, etc. etc,

It simply says Wives – Submit and Reverence as if you are doing it for/to God.


Submit + Reverence = Unconditional Respect.

HEY!!! I think that will be the twitter hashtag #SRUR

So I know by now most if not all you ladies have stones in your hands ready to through them thru the screen at me but if you have managed to read this far, don’t miss the blessing.

Some of you are probably saying, “What about the husband loving the wife part.”  When I was going back and forth with the Holy Spirit about doing this, He said very plainly to me…  “There are a plethora of sites out there about that subject.  I want you to laser focus on the concept of “Unconditional Respect” because my daughters need to know. ”

People perish for a lack of knowledge.
i.e. Marriages perish for a lack of knowledge.

So this may not appeal to every wife or wife to be and some things may not even appeal to my own and that’s OK.  But for those of you who do want to seriously know “how to respect your husband unconditionally,”  I can promise you that while to many, this may seem like a one sided, unbalanced, whining,  martyr trying to emotionally manipulate women into slaves and trophy wives, I am not just shooting the in dark here.

I am married going on 18 years (officially) 20 (unofficially) and the things that I am sharing are from years of putting in blood sweat and tears into to staying together regardless of how much it hurts and one or the other wants to leave.

Some are personal experiences
Some have been shared
Some have been witnessed
Some are revelations
Some are just practical rationales

No I don’t have Permanent Head Damage ( Phd )

The Lord doesn’t need those constructs to speak to His people.

If you require those kinds of qualifications then this journey is not for you.

But if your marriage is about to Rest In Peace or if you have just been cohabiting with someone you “used” to love and felt loved you and you want to see, make, and be the change and allow God to breath new life into it…

Then pray, subscribe and

Respect In Peace.