Home Sex ARE YOU A SEX SHOOTER?

ARE YOU A SEX SHOOTER?

The song title made popular by 80’s artist and Prince protege’s Apollonia was talking about using sex as a weapon – well sorta…

According to Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of the “The Secrets of Happily Married Women,” (Jossey-Bass, 2009), when you are angry, upset or sad, it may be difficult to think about hopping into bed with your partner, and it’s understandable why at certain times, some emotional work may need to be done before “sexual healing” can take place. But when individuals use sex as a form of behavior management, it can damage a relationship.

Here are 3 reasons why sex as punishment may be damaging:

1) A sexual relationship is a necessary part of every marriage. There’s no other place your partner can get sex except with you, so to be withholding sex as punishment may unconsciously give the message that he or she would be better off getting sex elsewhere, and it could lead to affairs.

2) Two individuals in a marriage will always have different needs at different times, and part of the challenge of a happy marriage is to negotiate getting needs met. But withholding sex isn’t negotiating, it’s blackmail, and your partner is likely to feel manipulated. Over time, that kind of withholding until conditions are met stirs resentment and alienation in your partner.

3) Sex is a way of showing love; if you don’t believe it, think back to when you and your partner first started getting it on. Married partners should always be looking for ways to demonstrate affection, but when sex is withheld as punishment, it gives the opposite message. Like it or not, withholding sex may make your partner may feel less love from you, and, contrary to what you’d like to see, he or she may give you less love in return.

Do you agree or disagree?

7379_10206007650530562_1107685097148778201_n

The Man
The Man
Previous articleIS THIS ACCURATE?

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Must Read

ARE YOU A SEX SHOOTER?

The song title made popular by 80's artist and Prince protege's Apollonia was talking about using sex as a weapon - well sorta... According to...

IS THIS ACCURATE?

This is for all you ladies 40 years and over.... and for those who are turning 40, and for those who are scared of...

Men Who Do More Housework Have Less Sex

Conventional wisdom suggests that women are drawn to men who help out around the house. Yet new research indicates that some divisions of labor...

Communication

So a while back I read this story about a couple who had grown apart and had communication problems. The man loved to fish...

Black Feminist

What follows is a fact sheet about Gloria Steinem’s operations against the various social and political movements in America, particularly her role in creating...